Don’t Quit Your Job, Learn to Manage Your Manager

Management is one of the top reasons why people leave their jobs. It rings true within my personal network, and also in the popular phrase “Don’t Quit Your Job, Quit Your Manager”.

I’ve heard it all: They never recognized my hard work. They only know how to micromanage! They never helped me. They don’t understand me. Situations like these can be frustrating and demotivating, but before you quit your job learn to manage your manager.

Relationships Are a 2- Way Street

Since joining the professional workforce about four years ago, I’ve learned that managers do more than just oversee your work and they have some “hidden” responsibilities. On top of managing their people and teams, they have to deal with HR trainings, leadership trainings, leadership meetings, deliverables to their management, budgeting and finance, and the list goes on and on.

We might label managers as bad, but they can only do so much and this is a good reminder that relationships are a two- way street. Unfortunately, managers cannot read minds, so they won’t know what’s on yours until you tell them. Do you want to be recognized more? Do you want more interaction? Less interaction? More flexibility?

This is where YOU come in.

The Name of the Game is “Taking Initiative”

Below I’ve compiled a list of ways to take initiative and strengthen your relationship with your manager:

Meet periodically and set up meeting invites

I’ve noticed that 1:1 (one- on- one) manager meetings tend to be the norm in large Silicon Valley tech companies. 1:1 meetings are usually brief, 30- minute meetings used to discuss a variety of topics related to your work, project updates, and sometimes professional goals.

If you don’t have 1:1s, set up an agenda and send a meeting invite. I’ve found that either weekly or biweekly cadence works best!

Show your weekly accomplishments

Make it a point to discuss your impact, accomplishments, and wins during your 1:1. Highlight work that you do for your manager, your team, and any work that you do outside of the team/ elsewhere within the company.

For example, I’ve brought up how I’m the chapter lead for my company’s Latino Employee Resource Group. If I hadn’t brought this up in my meeting, there’s no way my manager would’ve known all that I was accomplishing there and that I was taking on extra project management duties.

Provide Solutions, Not Complaints

Don’t go to your manager with complaints unless you have at least one solution. This shows that you’ve given some thought to the problem, took the initative to come up with a solution and are looking for specific guidance. Managers don’t always have the answer, so this gives your manager much more to work with than if you were to just put them on the spot to solve all of your problems.

If you’ve got feedback or complaints on your manager and their actions, I’d suggest reframing it as a positive suggestion. This will reduce the likelihood of it appearing as an “attack” on them and they might be more receptive to taking that suggestion and making a change.

Understand Your Manager

Observation and communication are key. Learn to understand how your manager reacts to stress and how they work under pressure. Look at situations through your manager’s point of view to understand what they focus and care about in their approach to a problem or project.

If you have the bandwidth, try to understand where you can come in and volunteer to help relieve some of their stress. (Make sure to add this to your weekly accomplishments!)

Help Them Understand You

Take some time to self-assess and become self- aware of how you work and what you need. Then, hold a conversation with your manager about how they can best help you, and the best way to work with you!

Share your professional goals and ask for feedback on your career journey. Not only does this help them understand you, but they might serve as a powerful resource and connector to opportunities and people.

Gratitude

A simple thanks or expression of gratitude towards your manager for any of their time, attention, and support is always a good practice. :)

Best of luck managing your manager! I’d love to hear what strategies have worked for you! Feel free to comment below.